[ She turns her head to look at him, even if he keeps his head up to look up at the sky. He seems entirely unsettled to her, and it's definitely her fault, she thinks.
Something in her heart aches, in a way that's both pleasant and painful, when she thinks about how things have been for the last few months--for the last month or so, specifically. It's crystal clear to her just how much Peter needs the team, and she even ventures, dares to think that he might need her, too, when sometimes she stirs in the middle of the night to find him holding onto her tightly, finds him seeking out her touch at random moments, finds him sometimes looking at her like he's trying to make sure she won't disappear on him at any moment.
It makes her want to protect him, as fiercely as she can, but she knows he wouldn't want to hear that from her. It's the least she can do for this man who put himself through hell for five months and then some, for his friends, and for her. And it's in the moments that she remembers that she's reminded of how much she just-- loves him. She hasn't said as much out loud, (apart from the occasional slip of her calling him "love") thinking it's not something he'd want to hear just yet, maybe especially of what he's been through, so it's unspoken but it's there and it's made its way into how she speaks to him, how she touches him, how she looks at him. She knows that to Peter, it might seem like she's taking pity on him and treating him like a fragile little thing, but really, it's just that she loves him. There's nothing more that she would want than to stay with him--after all, when they're apart, she spends her idle moments worrying about him, too.
But there may be a point in time, she knows, when she'll probably have to leave for quite some time. If the Crucible needs her. When Shepard decides it's time to take the fight to the Sol System--to Earth, and with all this going on with Peter, she hasn't quite figured out where she fits into all this. She doesn't want to leave him, that's for damn sure, but she might have to, and that's killing her because who the hell knows what's going to happen during that final battle, and then after that?
So, to his question, she can only offer a vague, but hopefully reassuring response, tinted with a dash of playfulness to try and lighten the mood. She's not sure it'll work, though. ]
Well, how much longer can you guys stand to have me around?
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Something in her heart aches, in a way that's both pleasant and painful, when she thinks about how things have been for the last few months--for the last month or so, specifically. It's crystal clear to her just how much Peter needs the team, and she even ventures, dares to think that he might need her, too, when sometimes she stirs in the middle of the night to find him holding onto her tightly, finds him seeking out her touch at random moments, finds him sometimes looking at her like he's trying to make sure she won't disappear on him at any moment.
It makes her want to protect him, as fiercely as she can, but she knows he wouldn't want to hear that from her. It's the least she can do for this man who put himself through hell for five months and then some, for his friends, and for her. And it's in the moments that she remembers that she's reminded of how much she just-- loves him. She hasn't said as much out loud, (apart from the occasional slip of her calling him "love") thinking it's not something he'd want to hear just yet, maybe especially of what he's been through, so it's unspoken but it's there and it's made its way into how she speaks to him, how she touches him, how she looks at him. She knows that to Peter, it might seem like she's taking pity on him and treating him like a fragile little thing, but really, it's just that she loves him. There's nothing more that she would want than to stay with him--after all, when they're apart, she spends her idle moments worrying about him, too.
But there may be a point in time, she knows, when she'll probably have to leave for quite some time. If the Crucible needs her. When Shepard decides it's time to take the fight to the Sol System--to Earth, and with all this going on with Peter, she hasn't quite figured out where she fits into all this. She doesn't want to leave him, that's for damn sure, but she might have to, and that's killing her because who the hell knows what's going to happen during that final battle, and then after that?
So, to his question, she can only offer a vague, but hopefully reassuring response, tinted with a dash of playfulness to try and lighten the mood. She's not sure it'll work, though. ]
Well, how much longer can you guys stand to have me around?